The “Blurred Normal”

How many of you are in a psychological abusive relationship? Where you find yourself questioning whether you are the one at fault?

How many of us are sitting there considering the amount emotional trauma as our “blurred normal?”

Women for many years, including myself, who are over-sensitive and cry easily because we are hurt easily, blame themselves for their failing marriages or relationships.

I am going to say one word to you, STOP! For many years I was blinded by my love for a person and the ugly truth was so apparent, yet I chose to ignore it. The after effects thereof has left me insecure, questioning myself and my intelligence and reassessing the actual acceptance of who I am. I am by nature a loud, humorous, caring and helpful person, yet my emotional abuser has turned me into a withdrawn and isolated adult.

I have caused my daughter to suffer the same demise and it is my fault. I allowed her to grow up in an environment where she saw it happening with me and subtly it has been done to her too. Many of her personality traits depicts me, as if she were my twin. She constantly has to hear she is just like me, with a negative connotation attached to it; and who do you think she becomes? Adopting the insecurity, emotional, anxious and depressive persona.

Have any of you heard of the “Cinderella Law” implemented in the UK in 2014? The new law would make it a crime to deliberately harm a child’s ‘intellectual, emotional, social or behavioural development’ and sits alongside the physical or sexual abuse of children.

For women and young female children to take a stand in this day and age, considering the brutal murders and abuse of babies, toddlers, children, teenagers, adolescents and adults is so deeply rooted in my heart and soul, as too little attention and focus is shown in this area.

Did you know?

  • Women who suffer from low self-esteem and insecurities are least likely to request an increase at work.
  • Women are also least likely to ask for a promotion because their self-worth is questioned by themselves
  • Women have a complex about their intelligence because of emotional abuse.

Signs of emotional abuse in a child:

  • Being fearful of a parent
  • Saying they hate the parent
  • Talking badly about themselves (“I’m stupid”)
  • Seeming emotionally immature when compared to peers
  • Exhibiting sudden changes in speech, such as stuttering
  • Experiencing sudden change in behaviour, such as doing poorly in school

I suffered emotional abuse from a young age. As much as I loved my dad, he instilled fear, resentment and left me questioning my intellect. We, as women tend to go for men who have similarities to our paternal parent.

We will uncover so many things and truths why us, women tend to put ourselves last and suffer in silence, oblivious to the in depth and permanent scars we endure including the damage it engraves in our daughters.

To be continued………..

Author: Love The "Un"- Present

I wish I could start this introduction of myself on a perky note, however I am a realist, my life was something meant for a horror movie......ok maybe I'm exaggerating, however no child should have to experience this. I can however tell you this, I am a God serving and God fearing woman and I stand to tell my story with rejoice in my heart because as God has lead Joseph to his victory, even though he lived some of his years in suffering. So did I live mine, but He is leading me to my victory, through all my trials and triumphs He has guided me from terrible to worse times and now He leads me from victory to victory. I live with no regrets as that was my path I had to take to get to know My Lord God, Saviour and Redeemer. Now brace yourselves for my truth.............

One thought on “The “Blurred Normal””

  1. Sharing your experiences sensitive and insensitive is a healing process- I admire the bravery thereof – this is truely a narrative to many readers – When you feel hurt 😔 Stop 🛑 and Think 💭- Is Somebody trying to hurt 😔 you or are they just being who they are !!

    Liked by 1 person

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