The “fairy tale” grew as distant as our long distant relationship.
The reason? Well, here it goes. I called him from work, Virgin Active Tygervalley, on the 10th February 2003, his birthday, to wish him and my worst possible, however, unexpected fear rears it’s ugly head. A female answers his phone and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I responded very cordially after she made me aware he is not around and I popped “The” question, “are you his girlfriend?” Her response: “Yes”
I literally wanted to regurgitate because of anxiousness, nervousness and disgust.
I responded by saying, “let him know I called as I wanted to wish him.” Very amicable, which I at that time did not even know that a word like that existed. There was always only one resolve for me, no words, which was becoming physical and this was not an option (the distance wasn’t worth my energy😒).
Confusion, humiliation, emotions, nausea and heartbreak sets in, perceiving our entire “moments” as a cacophonous of note (no pun intended).
My assumption, but truth, at the time, was that, “all men are the same,” whether they are sweet and loving or erratic and emotionless, cheating was just their thing.
Another Bermuda Triangle!!???? I always thought there is only one. I surely ascertained that scientifically, this documented fact was perfidious.
I called him back some time later in that day, confronted and he obviously denied the very transparent truth. It ended up with me slamming the handset in his ear.
He never called back to convey that either, someone was humorously messing with my head or even an explanation, considering that most women would have behaved erratically and most men would have gone out of their way to ensure that they communicate this before things become more confusing and emotional and based on his unfamiliar behaviour, my intuition accentuated and advised me to adhere to my “gut feeling.”
I relentlessly and extemporaneously returned to my previous Bermuda Triangle and went back into my old habits, which was drinking, recreational drugs and perpetual day after day partying. See a trend?
It was my escape from reality and my emotional consolation prize when I wanted to obtain torpidity, inside and out. Each time a glimpse of reality attempts to diminutively pop up just a little, I would refill all that I consumed over periods of days, which excluded food.
My “Great Escape” and turmoil stalked me like a witch on a broom.