All of us have experienced that moment when listening to a friend, family member or partner who are faced with a problem they are unlikely to solve due to the personal perspective, emotional attachment and how much the situation hurts them. Then, we step in and give an objective point of view, looking at both parties; and what the implications/effect of the situation has on either side. We give expert and knowledgeable advice, then we sit back and have that, “Wow, did that excellent advice just come out of my mouth?” I am guilty of this, on more occasions I would like to admit.
Automatically, we have people asking us, “why don’t you practice what you preach?” And then we reflect; and most times we fabricate why it is so. The answer might seem difficult, however, it is fairly simple.
When we give advice to someone else, it is objective, looking at the “problem” from both sides, however, our difficulty to apply it in our own lives is a different case, specifically because we now have an “emotional attachment and personal perspective,” regarding the situation, evaluating; and only taking into consideration, how the situation has affected and hurt us.
It is challenging, but not impossible, to take our feelings out of a situation and looking at it objectively. At the end of the day, almost everyone despises being wrong and they refrain from submitting to the possibility of that being the case; and having to say “sorry.” Apologizing, in our mind; and in everyone else’s, is seen as you admitting to being wrong. This is a childhood influenced outlook, as I have experienced how “far from the truth” it is.
Let’s be honest, how often are we faced with “immature” reactions in a workplace, with a partner or friend. We are sometimes left with a questionable thought, wondering how people excelled or made it this far considering their reasoning capabilities. In essence, we most times act like children when faced with adult confrontations.
We need to first look at what the possible outcome will be, depending on what and how we approach things; and if in most cases we take into consideration the positive or damaging implications it will have on e.g. Business, Long term friendship or relationship, it allows you to think just a little bit further than oneself, plain and very simply, this is a more mature and beneficial approach.
I am not saying you need to back down when the other person does not see your mature or immature reasoning, what I am saying though, is that our heightened or calm approach will determine the heightened or calm reaction of the other party.