Awesome ladies I met at my birthday retreat at Mangwanani Spa. From left to right: Glen, myself, Nobubalo, Vivian, Nos and Alessandra
I have been sitting here for the last 3 weeks with blog posts that are ready to be published, however, I have been so heartbroken and at a loss for words considering what has been happening to our women and girls being kidnapped, raped and murdered.
Driving home Thursday afternoon with my husband, traumatised by the news and details of Courtney Pieters murder, not forgetting all the other girls and women who has suffered the same kind of brutality, I start lashing out hoping my verbal thoughts will ease the frustration and hurt. In reality, this made me more angry, anxious and my heart was literally in pieces.
I began telling him the details of what happened to little Courtney and next these words come out of my mouth: “Courtney told her mother before what this inhumane person made her do.” I will however refrain from what it is as I am sure everyone has been following the story. “I will never disregard what my child says, no matter what. Even if she was lying, I would rather have peace of mind than live with regret.” My conversation with him ended there as I was so hurt by everything Courtney endured.
Later that evening I fell asleep on the sofa, waking up 30 minutes later, as if I was woken with a purpose. I immediately started praying asking God what is it that He wants me to do. I logged onto Facebook, disgusted by all the stories on my news feed of missing, raped and murdered toddlers and women. I immediately place my hand covering my phone and start uttering, “In Jesus Name, In Jesus Name, In Jesus Name.” I find myself grieving and experiencing an aching pain in my heart as if I lost someone. About 10 minutes later, I start praying and I ask God to use me to do his work, in driving collective prayer and collaborative effort, with all I encounter contact with to overcome this evil.”
Before I completed my prayer, God says to me: “Monique, you first need to exonerate yourself from passing judgement on anyone.” Immediately He made me remember what I said about Courtney’s mother, and I immediately asked for forgiveness. He made me realise how wrong I was to do that. I didn’t sleep that night, nor the morning. I cried the entire night and even the morning while getting ready for work. It broke me so much; I even spoke to my daughter while she was brushing her hair.
We already live in a society who pass judgement on us, especially us women, not knowing the situation, they criticize and think less of women and accuse them of being bad mothers. We judge women on how they dress, their weight, family problems, how unmannered their children are, how many men they slept with, how many times they got divorced, their job title, how much they drink, the list is endless. We are supposed to be the nurturers, caretakers, the more emotional creatures, yet we do not support each other, nor do we empower one another because the one cannot be better off than the other, If i do not know their story and neither do they mine, so how dare we judge. Women are so afraid to expose their heart to another woman completely for that specific reason of being judged, criticized and demoralized.
When we vocalize those words “Your child is my child”, it must come from deep down in your heart, you must feel that increased heartbeat as if you are telling your child that you love them.
Muhatma Ghandi said: “Be the change you want to see in the world”
Let us be that change, we are raising the women. We, Empowered Women, Empower Women.
Let’s start somewhere…… that somewhere is with ourselves.